Submit your ideas for humor to rplc.19langlade@gmail.com

 Little Johnny on politics
 

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Joe Biden fans.
 

Not really knowing what a Joe Biden fan was, but wanting to be liked by  the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny..
 

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different... Again.
 

Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not a Joe Biden fan.
 

The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of Joe Biden?"
 

Johnny said, "Because I'm a Conservative."
 

The teacher asked him why he's a Conservative.
 

Little Johnny answered, "Well, my Mom's a Conservative and my Dad's a Conservative, so I'm a Conservative."
 

Annoyed by this answer, the liberal, union, America hating teacher  asked, "If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would  that make you?
 

Little Johnny replied, "That would make me a Joe Biden fan." 

Tucker Vs. Fox News

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zydie8ijbGg

Liberals are like those parents that want to be their kids best friend.

Radio host Mark Belling

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFZrN75b9tk

A letter to Robin Vos

https://t.me/HOTWisconsin/6663

U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a small boat rowing towards Texas. The Captain gets on the megaphone and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"  

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "Gringo, we are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800s."  

The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter.   The Captain finally catches his breath, gets back on the megaphone and asks, "Just the four of you?"  

The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No señor,   we are the last four.  Thanks to your President  Biden....the   other 21 million are already there."

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO’S ‘WHO’S BEEN VACCINATED?’ 

Bud: ‘You can’t come in here!’

Lou: ‘Why not?’

Bud: ‘Well because you’re unvaccinated.’ 

Lou: ‘But I’m not sick.’

Bud: ‘It doesn’t matter.’

Lou: ‘Well, why does that guy get to go in?’

Bud: ‘Because he’s vaccinated.’

Lou: ‘But he’s sick!’

Bud: ‘It’s alright. Everyone in here is vaccinated.’

Lou: ‘Wait a minute. Are you saying everyone in there is vaccinated?’

Bud: ‘Yes.’

Lou: ‘So then why can’t I go in there if everyone is vaccinated?’

Bud: ‘Because you’ll make them sick.’

Lou: ‘How will I make them sick if I’m NOT sick and they’re vaccinated.’ 

Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’ 

Lou: ‘But they’re vaccinated.’

Bud: ‘But they can still get sick.’ 

Lou: ‘So what in the world does the vaccine do?’

Bud: ‘It vaccinates.’ 

Lou: ‘So vaccinated people can’t spread covid?’

Bud: ‘Oh no. They can spread covid just as easily as an unvaccinated person.’

Lou: ‘I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. Look. I’m not sick. 

Bud: ‘Ok.’

Lou: ‘And the guy you let in IS sick.’

Bud: ‘That’s right.’

Lou: ‘And everybody in there can still get sick even though they’re vaccinated.’

Bud: ‘Certainly.’

Lou: ‘So why can’t I go in again?’

Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’

Lou: ‘I’m not asking who’s vaccinated or not!’

Bud: ‘I’m just telling you how it is.’

Lou: ‘Nevermind. I’ll just put on my mask.’

Bud: ‘That’s fine.’

Lou: ‘Now I can go in?’

Bud: ‘Absolutely not?’

Lou: ‘But I have a mask!’

Bud: ‘Doesn’t matter.’

Lou: ‘I was able to come in here yesterday with a mask.’

Bud: ‘I know.’ 

Lou: So why can’t I come in here today with a mask? ….If you say ‘because I’m unvaccinated’ again, I’ll break your arm.’

Bud: ‘Take it easy buddy.’

Lou: ‘So the mask is no good anymore.’

Bud: ‘No, it’s still good.’

Lou: ‘But I can’t come in?’

Bud: ‘Correct.’

Lou: ‘Why not?’

Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’ 

Lou: ‘But the mask prevents the germs from getting out.’

Bud: ‘Yes, but people can still catch your germs.’

Lou: ‘But they’re all vaccinated.’

Bud: ‘Yes, but they can still get sick.’

Lou: ‘But I’m not sick!!’

Bud: ‘You can still get them sick.’

Lou: ‘So then masks don’t work!’

Bud: ‘Masks work quite well.’

Lou: ‘So how can I get vaccinated people sick if I’m not sick and masks work?’

Bud: ‘Third base.’”

Wal-Mart vs. The Morons 

 
1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day.

2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!

3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1st to St. Patrick's Day  (March 17th) than Target sells all year.

4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.

5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's largest private employer, and most speak English.

6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.

7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only fifteen years.

8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.

9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.

10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had five years ago.

11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at  Wal-Mart stores. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)

12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.

You may think that I am just complaining, but I am really laying the ground  work for suggesting
that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to fix the economy.
 

This should be read and understood by all Americans… Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!
 

 To President Biden and all 535 voting members of the Legislature

It is now official that the majority of you are corrupt morons:

a.. The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You  have had 246 years to get it right and it is broke.

b.. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 86 years to get it right  and it is broke.

c.. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and  it is broke.

d.. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 57 years to get it right; $1  trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to "the poor" and they only want more.

e.. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 56 years to  get it right and they are broke.

f.. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You  have had 51 years to get it right and it is broke.

g.. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It  has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion
a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 44 years to get it right and  it is an abysmal failure.

You have FAILED in every "government service" you have shoved down our  throats while overspending our tax dollars.

AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM??

Folks, keep this circulating! It  is very well stated. Maybe it will end up in the e-mails of some of our "duly  elected' (they never read anything) and their staff will clue them in on how Americans feel. 

Christmas Song (Satire or truth)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4G-19QB1Us

There are none so blind as those who refuse to see  not one politician has died from the virus, lost their job, or had their business looted.   Or, missed a haircut.    Or wears a mask unless on camera. Y’all know you’re being played right? 

Remember how we panicked when we couldn’t find any toilet paper?  What are we going to do when we can’t find a cop?

NYC just de-funded the very people that ran intothe burning Towers on 9/11.  Think about it!!!! 

If we all started wearing masks with “Trump 2020” on them, how long before experts decided we don’t need them anymore? 

Pretty wild how we used to eat cake after someone had blown on it…….. Good Times…………….. 

For the first time in American History, American History is no longer allowed in America. 

I don’t want to know “Why mobs are tearing down America’s monuments.”   I would rather know, “Why are we letting them?” 

Watching our country being destroyed by our own people is the worst thing I’ve ever seen. 

DEFUND THE NFL Don’t watch.  Don’t go. Don’t buy. Don’t discuss.  It’s Not About Football Anymore 

Nothing says “unity” like playing a separate National Anthem for black people and white people at NFL games. 

If you still think that this is about Democrats vs Republicans... It’s Not ………The battle is…. Progressive Socialism vs. The Republic of the United States of America.

If black lives really mattered; they’d be tearing down crack houses instead of statues.

Time for real Americans to take a stand.  I refuse to support NFL, NBA  or any organization that removes the National Anthem.  

Liberal Privilege 

1. Believing you have the right to control other people’s lives. 

2. Believing you have the right to never hear other opinions.   

3. Believing that when you’re offended others have to care.   

4. Believing that there are two sets of rules: One for you and one for everyone else.  

If masks work why didn’t we just give masks to prisoners instead of releasing them?

Oprah’s special begins with,   “What you WHITE people need to understand…” Now reverse the COLOR…sound Racist?  IT IS……… 

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WHEN THE USSR BROKE UP, ONLY 1     IN 160 FAMILIES HAD A CAR. OUR WANT TO BE MASTERS KNOW THIS. THEY DO NOT WANT US MOBILE AND THEY DO NOT WANT US TO LIVE IN PRIVATE HOMES. THE GREEN NEW DEAL IS THE GOLDEN ROAD TO COMMUNISM PERIOD, NO OTHER END RESULT IS POSSIBLE.     THE PLANET IS DOING FINE.  IT DOES NOT NEED SAVING.  WHAT DOES NEED SAVING IS FREEDOM!

Don't look to the Yahoos in the democrat party or the idiot voters that put them in office to do that .  Dem voters are stupid, but their elected officials are not stupid, they are just low life power Hungary *%&^@$# with no     morals.  Pass this on to any of your liberal dem friends. I don't have any. ON     PURPOSE!!!!        

Imagine Florida with a hurricane coming toward Miami. The Governor orders an evacuation. All cars head north. They all need to be charged in Jacksonville. How does that work? Has anyone thought about this? If all cars were electric and were caught up in a three-hour traffic jam with dead batteries, then what? Not to mention that there is virtually no heating or air conditioning in an electric vehicle because of high battery consumption. 

If you get stuck on the road all night, no battery, no heating, no windshield wipers, no radio, no GPS (all these drain the batteries), all you can do is try calling 911 to take women and children to safety.  But they cannot come to help you because all roads are blocked and they will probably require all police cars will be electric also. When the roads become unblocked no one can move! Their batteries are dead. Triple AAA can't bring you a gallon of electricity. How do you charge the thousands of cars in the traffic jam?  

Same problem during summer vacation departures with miles of traffic jams. There would be virtually no air conditioning in an electric vehicle.  It would drain the batteries quickly.  Where is this electricity going to come from? Today's grid barely handles users' needs with occasional brownouts and blackouts.Can't use nuclear, natural gas is quickly running out. Oil fired is out of the question, then where?

Battery manufacturing is one of the dirtiest industries that also requires a lot of difficult to mine and expensive exotic metals.  What will be done with millions of dead batteries, can’t bury them in the soil, can’t go to landfills. The cart is way ahead of the horse. No thought whatsoever to handle any of the problems that batteries will cause. 

The stupidity of our government is only exceeded by their spending our money on worthless waste projects that diminish our independence, our National Security and promote a Socialist Authoritarian Government.  

Consider what could occur if the U.S. was attacked by a foreign enemy and we had no fuel for Military Armored Vehicles, Bombers, Fighter Planes and every other type of defense armaments.  They can’t operate on batteries, solar energy or wind.  Not even our politicians can develop enough “WIND” to fly a kite, but they certainly are good at waving “White Flags of Surrender”!

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